Agnostic Universe

from LOL god

This is a cartoon about militants with the militant atheist portrayed as a rational person typing away at the keyboard while the agnostic buries his head in the sand and the Christian and Muslim both have weaponry. I assume it’s supposed to be a joke and I’ve seen it on some atheist blogs like Friendly Atheist where it seems to be presented as a joke. However, it reads like a smug “we’re better than them” banner. The statement it makes (serious or not) is that atheists are always so rational that even their worst adherents are better than anyone else.

Let’s look at this seriously for a moment because I want to focus on the message it conveys. The word militant means “1) vigorously active and aggressive, especially in support of a cause or 2) engaged in warfare; fighting.” Any time you argue about belief or disbelief, you’re arguing about what is most likely an unprovable viewpoint. When you argue over belief then you aren’t arguing over knowledge. One or both sides in those arguments have no interest in what is truly known or it wouldn’t last as an argument. An atheist could believe so much in their rejection of belief that their militant behavior and insistence on disbelief could be fought for with the same misguided passion as the militant believers. The term militant is about the behavior and tactics of the person and not about the belief or disbelief. Any person could be irrationally aggressive with weapons. Anyone that suggests that could never happen in the freethought community isn’t being honest about human behavior and the ability for some people to forcibly exert their will on others.

I support most of the efforts of the Freedom From Religion Foundation. However, I also see how freedom FROM religion could be twisted into a stronger and more militant stance to remove religion from the public entirely. This is similar to how some Christians want homosexuality to only be a private matter and not allow for any aspects of it to appear in public. On the extreme end of the spectrum are the Christians that don’t want to allow homosexuality in the private either. I believe in equal access in the “public square” for belief and non-belief. I don’t see how it helps society to remove or restrict religion from the religious. I just want to be free from having to support their religions with my tax dollars and from being forced to be more than a bystander as they do their thing. If we really value our own freedom from religion then I think we need to value everyone else’s freedom of religion.

I don’t ever want to see any militant people and that includes militant atheists or agnostics. Going back to that picture, the militant atheist and agnostic would also have weaponry. The militant believers want everyone else to believe as they do and the militant non-believers would also want everyone to not believe just like they do. The militant atheist would tell you that “you don’t believe” when they point the gun at you and the militant agnostic would say “you don’t really know.” I believe none of us really know or can know how or why existence came to be. All there is is belief or disbelief about such things and belief is definitely not knowledge. I’m atheist since I don’t know of anything about a creator or cause for existence that’s worth believing in. However, I don’t see the need for militancy on any side of this question since there’s no true knowledge on this subject to be defended by anyone. This is why I primarily identify as an agnostic “I don’t know, and you don’t either” instead of an atheist “I don’t believe, and you shouldn’t either.”

I just received a message from God. It’s the written word of God and carries the same amount of proof as the written word of the Bible. You haven’t heard from God directly so you just have to believe and have faith that it’s true. The truth is so self-evident that you can’t dispute this! If you don’t believe in it then you just don’t have enough faith to recognize the truth when you hear it. It’s such an amazing message that I simply have to repost it on this site to continue spreading the latest message from the true God. The Bible is just a snapshot in time and isn’t the complete story so you have to receive this message into your mind and into your heart to understand what God and the Bible really is. The Bible is causing problems in this world and in the United States and this latest message can help fix it!

The word is spreading and comes from here where I saw it and here where they saw it.

Here is the message so you can more easily read it, understand it, and use it in your life:

Dear Evangelical Christians:

God here.

First, I do not exist. The concept of a 13,700,000,000 year old being, capable of creating the entire universe and its billions of galaxies, monitoring simultaneously the thoughts and actions of the 7 billion human beings on this planet is ludicrous. Grow a brain.

Second, if I did, I would have left you a book a little more consistent, timeless and independently verifiable than the collection of Iron Age Middle Eastern mythology you call the Bible. Hell, I bet you cannot tell me one thing about any of its authors, their credibility or their possible ulterior motives, yet you cite them for the most extraordinary of claims.

Thirdly, when I sent my “son” (whatever that means, given that I am god and do not mate) to Earth, he would have visited the Chinese, Japanese, Europeans, Russians, sub-Saharan Africans, Australian Aboriginals, Mongolians, Polynesians, Micronesians, Indonesians and native Americans, not just a few Jews. He would also have exhibited a knowledge of something outside of the Iron Age Middle East.

Fourthly, I would not spend my time hiding, refusing to give any tangible evidence of my existence, and then punish those who are smart enough to draw the natural conclusion that I do not exist by burning them forever. That would make no sense to me, given that I am the one who withheld evidence of my existence in the first place.

Fifth, I would not care who you do or how you “do it.” I really wouldn’t. This would be of no interest to me, given that I can create universes. Oh, the egos.

Sixth, I would have smited all evangelicals and fundamentalists long before this. You people drive me nuts. You are so small minded and yet you speak with such false authority. Many of you still believe in the talking snake nonsense from Genesis. I would kill all of you for that alone and burn you for an afternoon (burning forever is way too barbaric for me to even contemplate).

Seventh, the whole idea of members of one species on one planet surviving their own physical deaths to “be with me” is utter, mind-numbing nonsense. Grow up. You will die. Get over it. I did. Hell, at least you had a life. I never even existed in the first place.

Eighth, I do not read your minds, or “hear your prayers” as you euphemistically call it. There are 7 billion of you. Even if only 10% prayed once a day, that is 700,000,000 prayers. This works out at 8,000 prayers a second — every second of every day. Meanwhile I have to process the 100,000 of you who die every day between heaven and hell. Dwell on the sheer absurdity of that for a moment.

Finally, the only reason you even consider believing in me is because of where you were born. Had you been born in India, you would likely believe in the Hindu gods, if born in Tibet, you would be a Buddhist. Every culture that has ever existed has had its own god(s) and they always seem to favor that particular culture, its hopes, dreams and prejudices. What, do you think we all exist? If not, why only yours?

Look, let’s be honest with ourselves. There is no god. Believing in me was fine when you thought the World was young, flat and simple. Now we know how enormous, old and complex the Universe is.

Move on — get over me. I did.

God

Praise be to the true words of God!

I wrote about the “Jesus First” theme prevalent in my brother’s wedding at his Grace Bible Church (whatever that is) and now I want to get into some specifics where that authority was used to promote the church leadership as the master over their lives and thoughts. This is another reason that even if there was an intelligent creator then I definitely wouldn’t believe in the structure and authority of select individuals as the speakers of that god to tell me what god thinks I should do and think. If there is a god interested in me and my actions then it can tell me itself. I haven’t heard any actual words from god so far.

The simple examples of “Pastor Knows Best” was during the reception being held in a recreation building on church property. They weren’t allowed a champagne toast because alcohol wasn’t allowed even though I’ve heard a story about Jesus turning water into wine. They had to get a special exception to have their first dance there because dancing wasn’t allowed since apparently Jesus wasn’t much of a dancer back in the day. All of the music played for the entire reception had to be approved by the pastor for style and lyrical content. They actually approved a song from Harry Potter because it lacked lyrics. Apparently Jesus is big on censorship and the pastor knows his taste in music.

These were the things I heard of in my few days in town and I’m sure during the premarital counseling and wedding planning there were many more examples of the pastor dictating what my brother could and couldn’t do for his wedding before their god. The irony I see in all of this is that my brother has been a long time member of the congregation, taught youth groups there, and has done many things for the church since joining them. However, he’s not trusted to do the right thing at his own wedding and the pastor felt the need to run the entire show all the way down to the reception outside of the religious ceremony.

The issue I made reference to in my previous post was a practical thing my brother and his bride-to-be did a few weeks before the wedding that could have destroyed the wedding itself. She just started a job very close to my brother’s apartment so she moved in with him early to drastically shorten her commute. They’re religious and I don’t know or care about their business but for all I know they slept apart at night even though they were under the same roof. I wouldn’t be surprised either way. Regardless, the best man found out about this and told my brother he needed to inform the pastor of this living arrangement to get right with Jesus or he was going to tell the pastor himself. Apparently my brother was just going to keep it quiet to avoid a potential disruption to the church wedding they had been planning. My mother was one of the people telling the best man that the wedding was about the bride and groom and he should leave it alone. That is when he said “No, this day is about Jesus and doing everything right for Jesus is more important than the bride and groom.” He would have tried to derail the wedding because he thought something wasn’t being done right for Jesus.

In the end, my brother was forced to tell the pastor and they had some extra counseling or prayers or something that made it all better. This was another moment where I would have had enough of “their” nonsense and just done what I felt was right. If my brother and the rest of my family want to worship a god then I wish they’d just do it without any of the meddling middle men I saw that weekend. All those other people did was cause problems, confusion, distress, and worry for brother, his wife, and the rest of the family by constantly telling them they’re not doing it “right”. It was all completely unnecessary and didn’t make them better or worse members of that church and in the end I believe it had no impact on what they’re becoming as a couple. If they had done everything the way they had wanted with a champagne toast, dancing, and whatever music the bride wanted it wouldn’t have made them less Christian. If they had openly moved in together earlier then they would still be the same people they are today. They’re a man and woman that have vowed to go through life as partners and they even vow to follow their god while doing it. They are together now despite the church and their nonsense.

I’m glad my wife and I didn’t have any of that nonsense and we don’t have anyone that can tell us we’re not doing it right. That is the freedom you get with thinking for yourself and not blindly following a religion. The religious and their churches can try to tell us we’re not doing it right but we’re not listening. In the end we’d just be who we are and they’d still just be nosy neighbors more focused on my household because they probably don’t want to face their own problems. When it comes to how I should live and love my wife and children… I know best.

We were raised Catholic with a Methodist dad and as that dropped off for our mom we all found our own paths for belief. I chose critical thought and higher standards for truth that led me to acknowledge all that I do not know. I see an obvious truth that humanity is clueless and making it all up in every fiction we call religion. My brother was pulled in by a friend at a young age to a local Grace Bible Church. All I can figure out about these churches is they say they are non-denominational followers of the “true” words of the Bible. I can’t figure out where these churches came from or how they might be affiliated but I see a lot of them on the web. Is this what the evangelical movement looks like? Grace Bible churches look like independent local churches but they share the Grace name and have common themes on their websites. If there’s an organization behind it all it appears to be hidden from the casual observer, which in my mind makes it seem a little sinister in purpose.

I had 2 days exposure to this place for the wedding rehearsal and actual wedding. I hadn’t been to a church in probably a decade and it was nice to see what I’m missing because it scares me to know people expose themselves to this indoctrination once a week. Unfortunately my parents have joined this church as well and my mom volunteers many times a week in support of it. I shouldn’t be so critical since they did leave me alone and never noticed I only bow my head out of respect to my family and never offered a single prayer. On the face of it all it seems all very innocent with good intentions. However, I see that their focus is building out their flock and controlling them for good or bad. I have no problem with good intentions but overall I think flocks of sheep are a very bad concept.

The pastor is a good looking younger man with a wife and young children. He’s charismatic and always in a calm control over everything around him. He’s the leader I’d pick to serve as my example and spread the message I was trying to sell, particularly if the message needed to be sold to be accepted. I’ll save some of the other details of the wedding for other posts but I want to focus on one particular message or theme that permeated the weekend. That message was that we have no meaning, purpose, or value without Jesus.

The central point of the wedding was a speech by the pastor saying the wife was there to serve the leadership of the couple, which is the man. She is there to help him as he serves Jesus. They will be divorced and have nothing but misery and continued sin without their marriage being about and for Jesus. Everyone is sinners and they will produce little sinners and the only way for us to overcome our evil ways is to follow Jesus. I still don’t understand how my mom follows this church since there’s a riggid structure of Jesus first, men second, and women are at the bottom in importance. They definitely don’t preach equality.

I’ll dig into this deeper in another post to keep this short but this structure was highlighted by a comment made by the best man. He’s one of the sheep in this church along with my brother. There was an “issue” and he was told by a few people that this day was about the bride and groom so why couldn’t he just leave it alone since it was their day. He followed the party line and said “No, this day is about Jesus and doing everything right for Jesus is more important than the bride and groom.” He would have tried to derail the wedding because he thought something wasn’t being done right for Jesus.

This is what I see as being very dangerous. Jesus rules and commands. The pastor speaks for Jesus. Members of the congregation parrot this and then the pastor is now in full control of everyone to blindly follow the rules and commands of the pastor as being unquestionable because they are synonymous with a unquestionable god. This all had a big impact on my brother’s wedding even though he is one of their faithful. In the end, he and his new wife aren’t living a life of love and happiness for each other because of religion. If they do, they are doing it despite the religious structure around them that is obviously trying to control their actions down to their very thoughts. They are not trusted to love each other naturally and I see the pastor and the church will always put their noses in their business as long as they let them.

I don’t need anyone else to tell us how my wife and I should love each other and our children. We can look for examples, guidance, and even use non-religious mentors or counselors to help us be a better couple but I’m very grateful that we’re in full control of our marriage. I can’t imagine putting myself into a setting where my neighbor gets to tell us that our living right isn’t right enough and I need to do it differently because they know Jesus better than I do when NONE of them know any of these things. All they are doing is imposing their own opinions on others using the authority of an imagined god.

Mother’s Day has me thinking about my mother. When my daughter was diagnosed with clinical depression my mom revealed that she also struggles with depression and has been on medication to treat it for a long time. She says the drugs help and will help our daughter but she also says God helps her cope with it all. I don’t usually focus on my family in this blog but I do bring some of this agnosticism to my talks and emails with my mother. There’s a good natured back and forth between us on belief. Recently I sent her Julia Sweeney’s excellent DVD Letting Go Of God. She responded by sending me The Real Face of Jesus on DVD and we had some good emails back and forth about that. The Shroud of Turin is still a big mystery but so are other things like the pyramids and Stonehenge. The shroud is a thought provoking proof of the possibility of Jesus, but I don’t see it as proof of resurrection or the leap of faith that Jesus was the son of God and all of that proving that God exists and created the universe.

My mother believes it and believes God is there to help her through her troubles and through the darkness of her mind that depression brings. This makes me rethink my approach to her religious belief. Some of my e-mails with her were starting to go on the attack as far as saying it’s really stupid and useless to believe in religion and hold on to those ideas. My atheistic outlook to Christianity leads me to not simply let it go. But she does admit that there are still more questions than answers to religion and she gets more out of her church community and the human fellowship they give her than she gets from the comfort of the prayers and personal relationship she thinks she has with God and Jesus.

So if there is good to be had in her life with religion then who am I to try to break that? Who am I to say that what she feels works for her doesn’t “really” work and she should stop believing it? I do think that religion is all in the mind but should we try to eradicate it completely from the human psyche when it’s a set of thoughts and beliefs that appears to help some people. Some people use an external framework like religion to define their lives, their definitions of right/wrong and good/bad, and their motivations for living. They’re just a set of thoughts and beliefs regardless of their truth. I’m using the word “thoughts” instead of saying she follows the Bible because my mom’s life matches an American Christian society view of living and not the exact written words of the Bible. If you really tried to codify modern Christianity you would have a whole new law book that doesn’t match the Constitution or the Bible. Believers including my Mom are following their own evolving and collective view of what “Christian” belief really is. How they believe is really about how they follow a crowd and conform to a different kind of community or family than just conformance to our family and country’s citizenry. It’s just another facet to what makes up my mom’s way of life that I don’t personally share in. She doesn’t try to change how I live my life without the Christian God so I think I should let her live her life with that belief if it does help her live it.

I’ve never sought treatment for depression for myself. I probably have it to a certain extent looking at my mother and my daughter. But I don’t need the comfort of God and Heaven to motivate me through life and the darkness that sometimes invades my mind. I value truth and believe that religion is fantasy just like Santa Claus or any other myths I’ve discussed in this blog. Once I had shed the external framework of religion and entirely thought for myself I didn’t find it difficult to decide what was right and wrong. I can also determine what is really good and bad in the world using the framework of the society we all fall under. I think I’m a better citizen than many modern Christians because religion often tries to make black and white out of a grey and nuanced existence. However, there are plenty of theists that operate in society just like I do and our only difference is they believe in a god and I don’t. I’m not sure I really care enough to say religion should be gone just because it’s false. I just want the freedom to not believe to be as protected and accepted in the world as the freedom to believe. That will allow my mom to have God support her through her depression and for me to not bother with such nonsense as I deal with things in my own life. I think we’re both better people with that arrangement.

A classic clip from the Daily Show where Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert debate Islam versus Christianity. This is the essence of debating religious truths for me. It breaks down to just silliness and ridiculous unproveable claims.

It’s interesting that god believers take a modern view of the mysteries of the universe and honestly see a connection backwards to the old mythologies of our ancestors. Not only does it take a leap of faith to do this, but it also takes another amazing leap of imagination to equate the complexities of the universe to a single uncaused creator being.

A commenter brought up the fine-tuned universe argument. This reminds me of a joke about how a puddle was sitting in a pothole musing about how perfectly the pothole fit its form and that it MUST have been created just for it. I’m just an average person and not a physicist so I’ll leave it to those types of experts to solve such issues. However, I do see the plausibility of multiverses as well as the simple argument of imperfection as counters to the fine-tuned argument. If the universe were designed and fine-tuned for human life then wouldn’t this be the best possible universe and planet for our existence? We live in a messy and hostile environment and I see no signs of perfection in the design of our universe or our own fragile bodies. I see the fine-tuning argument as not much different than the intelligent design argument. In either case an infinite number of universes with an infinite amount of time could allow for us to develop without intelligent cause. To be honest though, wouldn’t such conditions also allow for the existence of a “god” of some finite amount of intellect and power to actually create a universe such as ours in the grand infinity of it all? A hypothesis like this doesn’t mean it makes sense to believe in such a god on faith alone so my “faith” simply tells me I really don’t know the answer.

The commenter admits that these types of arguments don’t specifically point to the Christian deity, but then takes the leap of faith to say logic dictates that the possibility of God must be the only true answer. This is where the leap of faith becomes the massive leap of imagination on top of it to say that we not only know such a deity exists but that we have any notion of the true nature of that deity and its relationship to us. Instead of starting from the past and connecting it to modern views, can you do the reverse as I try to think about it?

Pretend for a moment that we didn’t inherit the baggage of specific mythologies from our imaginative ancestors. Would modern scientists take all of the complexities of our universe and come up with the hypothesis that if this one universe had a beginning then it may have been caused by an intellect instead of force and chance? Perhaps there would be a scientist that would imagine such a hypothesis. But then what would be the hypothesis concerning the intellect that created this universe? Where is or was that intellect and what was the cause for it to exist? If infinite space and time cause a singular being to exist by force and chance then which hypothesis is the most likely to happen by chance: this one universe or a god that would create this universe? This goes back to my previous post Amazing Powers of the Unknown.

I don’t believe in gods and that is atheism. My agnosticism tells me that the metaphysical, what is beyond this physical realm, is unknown or unknowable. A creator or god would be something metaphysical and I believe is something that is unknown and possibly unknowable. I see no reason to take a leap of faith to believe there was a creator for this universe. Even if infinite space and time could unnecessarily spawn an intelligent creator for our universe instead of just spawn our universe, then I still don’t see the need to take the great leaps of imagination needed to say we know anything about such a creator. The gods have all been created in our own image and not the other way around as most manipulative believers would tell you. In my experience, such believers either want to justify their belief by having me concur or they have other motivations to manipulate those beliefs to support other human causes that often center on money and power. If there really is a creator and it’s still alive today, I’m sure it’d appreciate my honesty concerning its existence over any believer’s claims of specific knowledge about such a creator’s thoughts, motives, and desires. It definitely takes imagination and arrogance to claim you know there is god and what god actually thinks. Are you that arrogant?

I can look at the majesty, power, and wonder of our entire universe and see the need to ask why. Religious people (theists) say they have a very simple answer to this and it is God. They believe in God as a single all-powerful intellect that exists without cause yet amazingly possesses the attributes of thought and power sufficient to create this mysterious mess of a universe. Which one of these two things is more likely to exist without intelligent cause and design:

1. A god with amazing intellect and power capable of creating this universe with our own individual awareness and thoughts for the sole purpose of loving and worshipping that god
2. An environment and existence that is without intelligent cause and design that’s vast enough to develop and evolve our physical bodies with awareness and thought through natural processes over billions of years in one small speck of this grand lab we call the universe

If you think our simple bodies and minds must have a God to create them then what does that say about God itself which is much more complicated than us? It is obvious to me that God is just an invention of our more primitive ancestors. They imagined that since they could create simple things then a greater intellect must have created more complicated things like us. They extrapolated what they knew to incorrectly bridge the gaps for what they couldn’t possibly know. Why do people trust their knowledge about the universe over any scientists working today?

The mythological gods were human forms possessing more power than us. The Judeo-Christian God is just a more powerful singular version of these gods possessing the attributes of something so powerful and beyond us that it is now claimed to be beyond questioning. I can’t believe in such a God for so many reasons including our inability to know or understand such a being which means you can’t claim to define or know God. The existence of such a being with the attributes of a creator without origin makes no sense.

My knowledge tells me that all gods exist only in belief and faith without any real evidence showing gods are the reason for existence. I can’t believe such things without knowledge and so I cannot be a theist. I’m without theism and am by definition an atheist. Not believing isn’t everything to me since actual knowledge about the origin and root causes of our existence are important to me. I would like to know why all of this exists. The answer may only be natural processes and the theory of multiple big bangs may mean that matter itself is infinitely old and the universe infinitely large. How could a singular uncaused intellect outside of the universe be the cause of such a universe? It is not necessary and makes no sense.

If I have belief, faith, and feeling concerning all of this it is telling me in my core that the religions of mankind are false. I have stood on the shores of Oahu in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and felt the vastness and power of the ocean around me and felt so very small. I have walked through Carlsbad Caverns and felt the weight of the earth over my head and under my feet and felt so very small. I have stood on top of Pike’s Peak and looked out at the land the farthest and highest I have ever seen and felt so very small. I have looked up at the clear unspoiled night sky and the vast multitude of stars and galaxies and have felt so very small and insignificant in the face of the amazing power of the entire universe that exists outside of my simple little mind. I have considered the amount of knowledge humanity has collected over our short existence and imagined how insignificant it is compared to the potential knowledge of true omniscience. I have left my mind and heart open to the truth concerning the true nature of existence and I continously feel the amazing powers of the unknown.

Why does the universe exist? I can tell you what I think makes the most sense concerning the evolution of our physical existence and that the universe may have always existed. We can still look at it all in wonder and ask why but I can honestly say that I don’t really know why. I believe that none of us know and anyone claiming to know a god is faking it for some human motivation that you can figure out. But when it comes to the universe, isn’t the universe itself amazing enough?

It’s that time of year again to have some fun with the kids and celebrate the secular aspects of an American Christmas. It’s also that time of year that I think about how Santa and God are the same kind of real. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and he’s the God of the Children! He’s like a God with training wheels.

Santa Claus has some disputed origins from Sinterklass that might even trace some of his current traits back to Odin. The stories of the miracles of Santa have expanded and spread throughout the world because they are a compelling message of the true power of Santa. Santa could be credited with childhood morality and the source of all good girls and boys. We would certainly have an entire population of juvenile delinquents without Santa watching over them and keeping them good, right? The only reason for childhood goodness and morality is because Santa commands it in order to receive the ultimate gift he could give the children. That gift is to grant the wishes of the children for toys or other presents through the greatest miracle I’ve ever personally witnessed. That miracle is that all of those presents are delivered on a single night to all of the true believers of Santa around the world. If you don’t believe then you usually have to settle for lesser gifts from your parents or other loved ones. Some kids never receive presents at all no matter how much they wish for Santa to bring them. Hopefully the US Marine Corp Toys for Tots program can help them through the work of generous people like you.

This time of year I see all of the signs of Santa Claus and his believers spreading the message of Santa to keep him alive and well in the minds and hearts of the people. He has representatives in every mall spreading his image and message of goodness in trade for gifts. He’s all over our culture and media and does so much good that there would be no reason to stop this belief from continuing. I’ve personally witnessed and taken part in the greatest miracle I’ve ever seen and would never spoil that for any little kid today even though my own children have outgrown this belief. It’s fun and harmless for elementary school kids and younger as they do experience the real miracle of Santa. The concept of Santa delivers even though Santa himself is not real and what Santa is based on could never do what the concept has been able to accomplish year after year.

But what would you do if your teenager or coworker professed a deeply held belief in Santa? It’s a harmless belief, right? Can you imagine a distraught coworker coming in after the holidays fearing that they’re a bad or evil person because Santa didn’t deliver a present to their solitary apartment? Can you imagine a happy coworker that says with all honesty that Santa brought them an iPod for Christmas because they got a gift from “Santa” written in the handwriting of one of their loved ones? Do you really think that kind of delusion is a good thing and would be comfortable telling that person to not do something you think is wrong because Santa is watching and might not bring them a present next year?

There are parallels between the reality of what is accomplished by the concept of Santa and the concept of God. The concept of Santa has some good and harmless effects on humanity as long as we grow up and see Santa for what it really is so we can keep the adult part of this concept harmless. The concept and how we all perpetuate it for the children makes it feel very real for them. But what if we didn’t grow up and we thought Santa was still real in adulthood and that he just needed us to help deliver his presents? How would we treat the unbelievers that wouldn’t give credit to Santa for some presents? The goodness of our children are in jeopardy if we let the unbelievers stop serving Santa!

What will Santa bring you this year on his own without any help? How can you be a good person without a belief in Santa Claus? Borrowing from the United Coalition of Reason, millions of Americans are good without Santa. Think about it.

Happy Holidays everyone!!!

This little bit of fiction may seem odd, but bear with me. Stories are better when they have characters you are familiar with and understand. I think you’ll be very familiar with the characters and stories here.

Imagine if George Washington had accepted the wishes of the people that wanted to hold him up to be more than a simple man and crown him as their King of the United States. Imagine it is now back in that time. George Washington rules over us as a King and can decree all sorts of laws to punish us for what he decides are crimes. He could require all sorts of payments and penance for us to redeem ourselves in the eyes of the King as the sole ruler of our domain. George Washington was a good guy, so that’s why some people think it would be good to have someone like him with that much power over everything. Most people think its true and make it happen, so you should accept that George Washington is your King.

King George Washington lets all of that power go to his head and becomes a jealous King requiring all of his loyal subjects to love him above all others. He decrees that as a law in the First Amendment of the Constitution under the King’s new Bill of Commandments. Some of the other amendments make murder a crime, bans theft of private property, and makes adultery a crime the government should handle for us. We generally believe King George Washington is a good and righteous king overall even though he now requires unquestioning belief in his judgment and our unwavering loyalty or we risk a lifetime in a hellish prison.

George Washington, father and King of our country, eventually decides he needs to provide a son to the world since he considers himself the King of Kings. He believes his rule should live on to save us from our criminal instincts, lest we break down in to anarchy without his rule. He’s the King and can do just about anything he wants including having a son how he chooses. He decides the best way to do this is to demonstrate his power as King and use a nice young couple that had just gotten married. They haven’t had a chance to consummate the marriage and the young bride is still a virgin even though she has a husband. King George Washington rapes the young woman and forces her to have his child as the best way he can think of to provide the greatest gift he has for the country. King George Washington loves his new son and names him James Washington.

He realizes the people are suffering under his often misunderstood laws and that he loves the citizens of the country more than his own son. Even though he’s the King and makes all of the laws he can’t just undue them all by decree. That might make him look like he didn’t know what he was doing with all of those laws about slavery, goat sacrifices, and public stoning to punish certain offenses. King George Washington makes a new law, referred to as the New Deal, saying that if the Native Americans would kill James, then any crimes for those old laws would always be forgiven and the American people wouldn’t have to follow them anymore (now referred to as the Old Deal). King George Washington arranges for the murder of his only son to forgive the people of all crimes committed under the Old Deal laws he had made.

The citizens of the United States rejoice when King George Washington issues the New Deal for the country. The old laws required the citizens to love him as their only King, but under the New Deal he has devised a way for everyone to love him since he cares more about that than the breaking of any laws. There is now one condition for receiving a not guilty ruling for some of the old laws that make sense to continue to follow and any new laws the King and his growing set of advisors create. A person has to profess their belief in the King’s rule and offer King George Washington their love, and then the loving King finds them not guilty for their crimes. A person could murder someone but then can be found not guilty in the King’s eyes as long as they love and believe in their King. You still shouldn’t kill someone even though murder was a law under the Old Deal and the New Deal repealed some or all of those laws. You still shouldn’t kill someone even though your crimes can be pardoned by the King if you just believe in his judgment and love him. Believing in King George Washington is more important than anything so don’t worry about the details of crimes and forgiveness.

It does get a little confusing as the New Deal progresses because nobody hears from the King himself anymore and only gets messages through his advisors. The King’s advisors assure everyone the King still lives and that they’re authorized to pass along his new laws and pardons. We all must continue to love the King if we hope to have all of our crimes pardoned. It’s good to love the king and believe in his judgment. Why would you want to risk jail when his pardons are such a great gift?

Wouldn’t the United States have been great if we really could have made George Washington our King instead of just a President?