Agnostic Mom – Religious Peer Pressure On Your Teenage Child
I know that in the past, some have suggested exposing our children to other peoples’ religions. I can see the benefits of this, especially when our kids are young and we are there with them to explain it the way we see it. But what about sending them with their friends? Cassandra is right that those formative teen years give the child a desperate need to find a cause that is separate from their parents’. They need to belong somewhere where they will feel accepted. The ‘acceptance’ they will encounter at churches will be alluring, but deceiving, because the acceptance comes with unrealistic and manipulative conditions.
Agnostic Mom – Religious Peer Pressure On Your Teenage Child
I went to Wednesday classes at my Catholic church as a teenager for the very reason of acceptance and to be with my friends. Eventually one of the girls there became my girlfriend which continued my desire to attend. Fortunately for me they weren’t pushing an indoctrination that was irresistible. It was an odd group actually because the class leaders (or whatever they were called) and all of us “kids” were more about the fun and friendship and only really dealt with the instructional part of it all because we were supposed to. Nobody there defended the faith as a life or death matter and just sort of took it for granted as it all being true.
I learned a great deal from the class even though what I learned was the opposite of what they taught. Since they delved more into specifics of the bible, I started realizing the flaws of the whole idea and the obvious similarity to any other form of mythology I’d studied. I think people should be exposed as much as possible to their religion. It’s the people that haven’t truly read the book that believe the most in it.
When it finally came time for our Confirmation ceremony, I had to stop attending class because I couldn’t and wouldn’t go through with it. My mother brought me into the Catholic church but she knew I had the free will to walk away… and I did. I think I owe it to my children to make up their minds in the same way as long as they are the ones truly making the decision.
Do we outlaw all participation in church services and activities? Will that seem paranoid? Does that matter? Do we let them go and then talk about it with them afterwards?After thinking about my experiences as a teen, I feel inclined to not allow it at all. But maybe I am reacting to the anger I am starting to feel at my memories.
What are your thoughts and experiences on the matter?
We let them go with people we trust and talk about it with them afterwards. If they begin to get lured into a cultish environment (Christianity does qualify as a cult in my viewpoint) then I would combat it with reason and exposure to even more conflicting varieties of religion. The most important lesson I can give them is that no human has a monopoly on the “one right path” in life and nobody has the big answers for life, not even their parents.
It wouldn’t bother me if either of my children gained a spirituality and belief in a god, as long as they do it with an open mind and the belief is truly of their own mind. If I ever thought a religious group was trying to control the mind of my children I would definitely have to counter that any way that I could. However, I do know that just forbidding certain things usually backfires with children, so outlawing religion won’t happen in my household.
